Awkward turtle

So a couple of days ago, I was out in East Providence with some friends. We were talking with some other people we had just met at the bar. Remember how I just moved to Providence and I don’t know anyone? Well, apparently I was wrong. So I leave to get a drink, come back, and my buddy introduces me to this chick asking, “This is Chris, have you two met?” and I reply, “No” at the exact moment she replies “Yes.”

Well that was awkward..

Anyways, this chick’s friend looks over, laughing, and makes this weird hand-motion where she puts one hand on top of the other, and rotates her thumbs around. It looked something like this..

Seriously: do you know how ridiculously hard it is to take a picture of your own hands?!?!

So being from Detroit and living the thug-life, I immediately cringed thinking this chick was about to initiate me into the Crips or Bloods gang by cutting off my thumbs or something. And this gesture was like, “ENJOY YOUR THUMBS NOW BECAUSE THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU WILL EVER BE ABLE TO GRIP AN ICE CREAM CONE.” Insert Will Muschamp face here.

Anyhow, after her standing there for like 30 seconds, spinning her thumbs around really fast at like 100 MPH, I had to ask the chick’s friend for an explanation (after first clarifying that she wasn’t “special” or as slow as Shqounda). So she explained that it was the hand-gesture for the Awkward Turtle.

Maybe I’m really out of the loop, but I still had no idea what she was talking about. Apparently, during an awkward moment, this gesture is supposed to represent the feeling you get watching a turtle laying upside-down on its shell trying to get up, kind of like this..

Awesome Microsoft Paint skills at work

So in writing this post, I have learned a few things:

  1. I learned about the Awkward Turtle, its origins, and how to perform it properly.
  2. While meant to clear the air, standing there twiddling your thumbs, doing the Awkward Turtle will probably make it more awkward… And furiously spinning your thumbs faster and faster does not remedy the situation without accompanying explanation.
  3. The only way this chick’s friend  was so well-versed on turtle history is if she was either April O’Neil or Splinter from TMNT. I should’ve asked her to teach me how to defeat Shredder and buy me some pizza!
  4. I am absolutely amazing at Microsoft Paint. I drew that turtle in 5 minutes flat.
  5. Tag-back slash UPDATE: Check out Rob’s post on the Awkward Palm Tree.

Cowabunga!

Chris

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18 thoughts on “Awkward turtle

  1. Can’t believe you don’t know about awkward turtle.

    Your sister better be thinking of TMI Turkey, awkward moose, and of course, awkward turtle in peril.

  2. Actually, I’m thinking of awkward starfish, salmon, and octopus. haha. All sea creatures, I guess. Trust me, brings awkward to a new level. I will show you all when I pick up my (loads of) stuff.

    I do love the awkward moose, too! Only when done with the correct facial expression though.

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