Hotel intimacy

I took a trip there a few weeks ago to Manhattan with Mike and Josh to meet up with some of their friends and got a chance to meet up with Maria too (pics will be coming soon). Yes, same Josh and Maria from the Katie G saga.

What is the deal with hotels in NYC? They’re either outrageously expensive or in Rape City. Mike was staying with his gf. So Josh and I decided to split a room for a reasonable rate at a hotel called “Hudson’s, a Morgans Original.”

… Uh, unless you’re a law firm, what kind of business has a comma in their name? Also who is Morgan? Unless it’s Alex Morgan doing her best impression of McKayla Maroney, I don’t really care. Oh what a coincidence, that’s exactly what Ms. Morgan’s Halloween costume was?! Amazing. I love women’s soccer.

Anyways, back to the story. We head to the hotel’s address (356). We pass something in the low 360 range. Should be close. Sweet. So I’m looking for an awning or some type of indication there is, you know, a hotel. Anyways, we walk for a little bit. And keep walking. And all of a sudden we’re at 340 or something.

Like,

Turns out it’s one of those hipster “unmarked” hotels. What? Those are real? I thought secret meeting places only existed for Fantasy Football leagues.

Anyways, the point of this post is to discuss hotel intimacy. So back to that.

We get to our 23rd story room (balling!). Then we walk in, find out there’s only one bed (not balling!). I call dibs on half of the bed closer to the door. Honestly, I think there’s a 90% chance that I’ll get to sprawl out on the bed by myself because Josh is probably going to get lost and/or spend the night with a friend and/or spend the night with a friend” that night.

I warn Josh, “Yeah I’ve been told I’m a very affectionate sleeper. I don’t remember any of my actions, but my friends starting calling me the hairless bear.” The “hairless” part is pretty self-explanatory. And the bear part: I guess I tend to try to spoon whoever is sleeping next to me in a bear-hug.

Ok, so all this would’ve been ok. The thing that (hilariously) pushed the ridiculousness over the edge was the shower. Instead of, you know, a regular wall between the bed and the shower, there was a glass window with a completely see-through sheer cotton curtain over it. But it’s like one of those really thin gauze materials that they give chicks for wet t-shirt contests.

Good thing this desk is here! Now I can watch my business partner shower and also study for my presentation tomorrow.

I give the hotel a 4.0 out of 5.0. I think I’d stay there again honestly, it’s a great location and a decent price. Plus, 23rd floor? That was awesome. Also, I found the entrance at 4:30 AM without stumbling around too much, so I’d be able to find the entrance sober.

I was going to give the hotel a 3.5, but just for the novelty of the shower window, I gave it an extra half star. I guess this hotel would be good for a couple on their honeymoon. But having a glass pane between you and your bro makes for some awkward moments. Well, I guess close-quartered, hidden, trendy hotels bring out the best in two buddies. Needless to say, on a positive note, Josh and I are that much better of buddies.

Chris

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5 thoughts on “Hotel intimacy

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