Why you always gotta be Big Dogging me?

My friend recently asked me what it means to be “big dogging” someone. She always thought it was some exotic sexual position. I’m here to clarify that it is most definitely not sexual. Mel, I have never dedicated a post to someone before, but I am doing that for you to explain Big Dogging. Hope no one figures out what your real name is!



Everyone’s got that one friend who always seems to be outdoing everything you do. They always find perfect roommates. They throw bigger parties than you – with said roommates. They always seem to land better jobs than you. They always win fantasy football tiebreakers. They always seem to find 15 wife-material chicks before before you can even find one. They always have better (and more) HPC-level stories than you.

I’m sure y’all know what I’m talking about. I call this “Big Dogging” someone. Personally, I insist that it can only be called Big Dogging if you are truly friends with this person. If you don’t like this person – even a little bit – than it’s just resentment. You should probably just fight them to assert your dominance.

For me, this has never been more true than with my buddy who we will name Rover.

Rover is freaking hilarious and I love hanging out with him. He’s a good guy. He’s passed every friendship test I’ve ever put him up to: except one. Rover is like a veritable black hole when it comes to women and the inevitable unenviable drama  that women come with. By “black hole” I mean they get close by and get sucked in by his charm and looks. That’s it – he is their universe. They never come back and talk to anyone else.


Example: Paul Rudd gets Big Dogged a lot.

Technically, you can get Big-Dogged in more than area namely girls, sports, cars (Haha. Look at my priorities..). However, my friendship with Rover has only lead to pretty much weekly “did-that-really-happen” Big-Dogging moments with chicks. Seriously, it’s almost every week. I don’t have enough room to write about it here.

I do have to admit that there was one time where I kind of screwed Rover over. But it was definitely not malicious. It was like.. self-protection? Sort of.

You guessed it! More debris from Katie G exploding into and out of my life. Shortly after Josh and Sophia did not really progress, there was definitely some chemistry between Rover and Sophia. That’s when Sophia tried some juvenile control tactics by throttling my contact with Katie. When I did not accede to her antics, she just stopped talking to me. So I guess I inadvertently ruined Rover’s chances with Sophia.

Ok, so rereading what I said, I can see what y’all are saying about me being her cockblock. Oops. If you knew the entire story, you would know that she’s MY cockblock. And no I’m not telling the rest of the story. I’m done with wasting time talking about Sophia and Katie.

The whole point of this post was just to vent about my frustration with Rover because he’s a great friend, but sometimes it pisses me off how he always seems to end up with the chick, even if we’re not overtly competing.

This post was actually also a long and drawn out introduction to the newest heylookchris.com lady who has accrued enough time-delay buffer to be safe.


REVISION: Yes, Mel, this is the same Rover who was there for Intense Gym Girl series. In fact, I asked her on a date to one of his parties. That did not end well. Not at all Rover’s fault, but it’s still neat to see how all of my story webs end up reconnecting at the end.

Related links
CMB Part 2: Big Dogged
Snowstorm Girls part 5 – Exhaustion


3 thoughts on “Why you always gotta be Big Dogging me?

  1. Pingback: CMB Part 2: Big Dogged | heylookchris

  2. Pingback: Where did the name Sophia come from?? | heylookchris

  3. Pingback: Snowstorm Girls part 5 – Exhaustion | heylookchris

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