Cutie McBangs Part 1: My 2nd best line ever

A few months ago, at dodgeball last season (have to be careful to space these things out), I saw this chick sitting on the empty bleachers all by herself. So, y’all know me, I just went to talk to her. As I approached her, she started talking to a guy who I recognized. So I was thinking, “This is perfect.”


So I get up there, ignore the chick and say, “Hey just wanted to say hi. Good to see you man.”

Then I whirl around to her and say, “Hey yeah, so I haven’t seen you around before. What’s your name?”

She gives me this slightly crooked smile and says, “You know.. I shouldn’t even tell you – this is probably the third time you’ve introduced yourself.”

I’m thinking, “Crap.” But I gather myself, “Oh yeah, so what’s my name then?”



So now I’m thinking, “Crap.” So I uneasily laugh and stammer, “Well.. I never said I was good with names. And if it was at Ladder (our dodgeball sponsor bar), well..” I sheepishly say, “Sorry nice to meet you – ”

“Cutie McBangs.”

I changed this for the blog. This is obviously not her real name. And “bangs” refers to her hair style.

Anyways, so my game was at 9 and I had arrived a little earlier in order to ref the 8 game. CMB was playing in the 8 game. Hmm.. So anyways all through the game she kept sneaking looks over at me. How’d I know? Because I was blatantly staring .. at her team.. Hey, I was just being a ref!!

Half-time comes, she sneaks up behind me and taps my shoulder and teasingly (is teasingly a word?) says, “Hi my name is CMB! I don’t think we’ve ever met. What’s your name?”

“Haha. Real funny.” Anyways, I come back with, “Nah I’ve never met you before..”

She counters, “How do you know?”

Oh. I would’ve remembered,” I smile as I deliver probably the 2nd most killer line I’ve ever come up with.

Boom. She blushes into a shade of crimson as I smoothly turn around to call the teams back to start the second half. No l’esprit de escalier for THIS GUY.


PS. The most killer line was the no reason boner story. Check it out. It is by no means romantic, just a funny story.

Related links
CMB Part 2: Big Dogged
T-shirt Canon


4 thoughts on “Cutie McBangs Part 1: My 2nd best line ever

  1. Pingback: NRB « heylookchris

  2. Pingback: L’esprit de l’escalier | heylookchris

  3. Pingback: CMB Part 2: Big Dogged | heylookchris

  4. Pingback: T-shirt canon (sic) | heylookchris

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